I’ve come to realize that when I moved on too quickly in the past, it wasn’t because I was ready—it was because I didn’t want to process the pain I was feeling. I thought that by jumping into something new, whether it was a relationship or a new situation, I could regain control of my emotions. But that desire to appear in ‘control’ to the world was just a mask for the deeper wounds I hadn’t dealt with.

“Moving on” is seductive. It feels like you’re proving to yourself and everyone else that you’re fine, that nothing can shake you. But in reality, it’s a form of self-deception. You may think you’re moving forward, but if you haven’t processed the hurt, the pain stays with you, quietly influencing your decisions and your ability to be fully present.

What I’ve learned is that when you rush to move on, you’re not addressing the root of the issue. Most of the time, those painful emotions aren’t even about the current situation—they’re tied to unresolved issues from the past. By not facing these feelings, we lose the chance to understand ourselves better and grow from the experience.

The hardest truth I had to face was that in trying to move on quickly, I was lying to myself. I wasn’t in control at all—I was avoiding the responsibility of dealing with my emotions. And when you lie to yourself, you’re the one who ends up suffering the most. Sure, you may hurt others along the way, but the real damage occurs internally.

Now, I’ve learned to honor myself by sitting with the painful feelings, no matter how messy or uncomfortable they are. It’s not easy, and it’s certainly not glamorous. But avoiding the pain only delays the inevitable. Eventually, life will force you to confront it, and when that happens, it’s much more difficult to manage.

Running away from pain never works. It always finds its way back into your life, and when it does, it hits harder. The best lesson I’ve learned is to face it head-on, deal with it when it comes, and allow yourself the time to heal. Moving on isn’t a race—it’s a process that requires patience, self-honesty, and the courage to sit with your emotions instead of running from them.