Healing is not something anyone else can do for you. It is deeply personal, raw, and often painfully solitary. I learned this the hard way when my mother passed away from cancer. Overwhelmed by grief, I sought comfort in the arms of someone who could not truly understand or support me. Instead of soothing my pain, this connection only compounded it.

In hindsight, I see that my choice to escape into a relationship was my way of avoiding the depths of my grief. I didn’t want to sit with the anger, frustration, or the bitter disappointment I felt—anger at God, anger at my mother’s stubbornness, and anger at myself for believing a miracle would save her. These emotions were suffocating, so I ran from them.

But grief cannot be escaped. It waits patiently, lingering beneath the surface, until you are forced to face it. Turning to others or distractions may offer temporary relief, but these are nothing more than Band-Aids placed over gaping wounds. They don’t heal; they only delay the inevitable. In my case, a healing process that could have taken a year stretched into nearly a decade because I refused to confront my pain.

The truth is, nobody can fully understand your pain. Nobody lived your relationship, shared your memories, or carried the weight of your experiences. This is why healing is so personal—and why it often requires solitude. Friends, family, or counselors can listen, but they cannot feel your emotions for you. They cannot process your loss or release your anger. That work belongs to you alone.

Real healing begins when you stop running and start sitting with your feelings, no matter how overwhelming they may seem. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. Journal your thoughts, cry when you need to, pray, or meditate. Invite God into your journey if you feel called to do so, because He has been present through every moment of your pain.

Avoid the temptation to seek comfort in external sources. Whether it’s a relationship, work, or even social media advice, these things cannot fix what’s broken within you. Healing is not a one-size-fits-all process, and no external solution can encapsulate the depth of your unique experience.

Grief is not something you can bypass. It demands to be felt. And while the journey is solitary, it is also transformative. Facing your emotions head-on allows you to truly heal, to emerge stronger and more grounded.

If you are grieving, my advice is this: trust the process, however painful it may be. Resist the urge to escape. Sit with yourself, and let the healing unfold naturally. Only then can you begin to find peace.