True self-love begins with a single, pivotal step: radical honesty with yourself. It’s easy to say, “I love myself,” but how can that be true if you can’t face your deepest feelings, admit your needs, and acknowledge your wants? Self-love isn’t just about indulgence or affirmations; it’s about sitting with your raw emotions, no matter how painful or uncomfortable they may be, and being brutally honest about what’s happening inside you.

For years, I ran from myself. I tried to control situations, people, and outcomes, believing I could manage life with my mind. I overthought, analyzed, and avoided the truth that my soul desperately needed me to face. Every time I ran from my feelings, I distanced myself from authenticity—both with myself and with God.

Here’s the hard truth: if you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t have a genuine relationship with God. He cannot answer prayers built on a foundation of avoidance, lies, or half-truths. When you run from your feelings, you block the very blessings you seek. I learned this the hard way. My attempts to fix life on my terms left me stressed, broken, and further from peace.

The turning point came when I realized that sitting with my pain—no matter how excruciating—was an act of surrender. It wasn’t about solving everything immediately. It was about sitting still, allowing space for the discomfort, and trusting God to take control. This act of surrender was humbling, boring, even desolate at times. But in that raw emptiness, something miraculous began to happen: a breaking down of my ego and a rebirth of my true self.

Radical honesty isn’t easy. It demands patience, humility, and a willingness to feel pain without rushing to fix or escape it. But it’s also freeing. When you’re honest about what you feel, need, and want, you stop settling for situations that don’t serve you. You walk away from disrespect, you set real boundaries, and you surrender your desires to God, trusting His timing and plan.

This isn’t a quick process. It’s messy, slow, and often feels unbearable. But this is the work of transformation. The pain isn’t punishment; it’s the breaking down of old patterns and the creation of something new, authentic, and beautiful within you.

To thine own self be true. Sit with your feelings. Surrender the need to control. Trust God to lead the way. It’s not easy, but it’s the only path to real self-love, peace, and freedom.