In our quest for love, we often look outward, hoping to find someone who can fill the voids within us. Yet, the truth is, we cannot truly love anyone until we have learned to love all parts of ourselves—both the bright and the dark, the strong and the weak. Our modern approach to love is fundamentally flawed, driven by a misconception that someone out there can provide us with the complete love we seek. It’s time to reframe our understanding of love and turn to the true source: God.

The Misguided Search for External Love

For many years, I was trapped by the belief that another person could give me the love I needed. This pursuit kept me stuck and unhappy, as I chased after the illusion of perfect love and perfect situations—neither of which exist. My liberation came when I realized that only God is the true source of love. The failure lies in our reluctance to turn to this divine source.

When we are broken, bored, or in pain, our instinct is to seek solace from other people who are often just as broken and pained. This dysfunctional behavior perpetuates our unhappiness. Instead, these moments of vulnerability should be seen as precious opportunities to partner with ourselves and God. Through our pain and tears, God heals us and fills us with His true, unconditional love.

The Healing Power of Divine Love

When we are filled with God’s love, we can then extend that love to others genuinely, without expectations or conditions. This is when we experience true love—a love that is free from attachment and mirrors the unconditional love God has for us.

True love cannot flourish if it is conditional or transactional. Love thrives only when rooted in the unconditional love that God provides. Even in letting go of love, we must surrender ourselves as vessels of God’s love, recognizing that our blessings come from Him.

Loving for God’s Sake

We should love others not for their sake, but for God’s sake. This perspective shifts our focus from seeking personal gain to fulfilling a divine purpose. When we love for reasons other than God’s sake, we set ourselves up for failure. There will always be countless reasons not to love, but when we love because it is what God asks of us, we find the strength and fulfillment we seek.

The paradox of love is that the more we are blessed, the more we should be able to love. Yet, we cannot give what we do not have. Therefore, we must return to the true source—God—to receive the love we need to give. Real love is about being in a state of giving, not getting. It is through true giving that we are filled and fulfilled.

The Power of Giving

When we give love selflessly, the universe responds in kind. Approaching life from a perspective of abundance, rather than lack, opens the flow of love and blessings. In this energetic state of giving, we receive more than we ever could by merely seeking to get.